How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
