True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
