If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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