Sponge bath it is.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize