I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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