I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
