i just google imaged poop.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
