I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So squirting runs in the family.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
