awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
