So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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