Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
