You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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