Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
