If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
