U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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