the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
