So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
