He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
