My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
