I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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