I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
