my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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