when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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