Well apparently he's into motor boating.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Omg I joined a choir last night...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
