do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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