it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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