You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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