Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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