420 ftw
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
