Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
