i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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