some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
