you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize