I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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