That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
