Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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