Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
