yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
