Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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