Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
