We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
