Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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