You can't motorboat a personality
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
