I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
