i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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