can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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