I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize