Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
