I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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