Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my shit smells like andre
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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