as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
