how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
