I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize