don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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