If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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