i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
