I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i've created a new STD.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
