Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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